1. Allocate some time – at least an hour, twice a week – when you know you'll have the house to yourself and can guarantee being undisturbed. (Arranging this can be the hardest part of the exercise!)
2. Take a leisurely bath, using your favorite bath oil. Relax. Enjoy soaping your whole body. Give your breasts and your genitals plenty of attention.
3. Dry yourself with love and care and continue to explore your body as you do so.
4. Move to the bedroom. Make sure it's warm and that it looks nice and is a pleasant place to be. Put some favorite music on if you'd like. Lie on the bed and carry on touching yourself, anyhow and any place that you like. All sorts of parts of your body might give you pleasant feelings. Find them! Give them attention. Be aware of pleasure.
5. Rub baby oil into your breasts and into your neck and throat. Enjoy the feeling.
6. Gradually, allow your hands to travel lower in your body. Caress your abdomen, and then use some more baby oil and touch yourself between your legs. There's no wrong or right way of doing this. Just let your instinct take over.
7. Slip your fingers into your vagina. Try tightening your muscles round your fingers. Then relax. Try gently stretching the vaginal opening – this is something that gives exquisite pleasure to many women.
8. Start circling the area where your clitoris is. Don't hurry this. As you become more focused on your genitals, you may well find that you start applying more and more pressure to your clitoris, and that your breathing is quickening, and – best of all – that you're really enjoying yourself.
9. Don't worry if you don't get any further than this on the first few occasions. So long as you feel that you are loving your body and appreciating it and experiencing some good sensations, then that's fine.
10. Don't forget that the most powerful part of a woman's arousal equipment is in her mind. So, it can be helpful to introduce some mental stimulation into the exercise. Try thinking of things that turn you on. Or, while you're stimulating yourself, read from one of those erotic novels written for women. You might even like to try caressing yourself while viewing a sexy DVD – if you have a DVD player in your bedroom or somewhere else in the house where you can feel uninhibited and comfortable. One of Betty Dodson’s famous DVDs, on assisting women to reach orgasm through masturbation, may help.
11. You may like to use a vibrator because many women find these increases their arousal quite magically. If you don't know where to get good books, videos or sex aids, see the further information section.
12. Each time you start caressing your body, try to keep going for longer and to increase your delight in what you're finding out about yourself. Don't panic if you still sometimes have feelings that what you're doing is wrong. Just breathe deeply and tell yourself that it's every woman's right to love and enjoy her own body – and that masturbation is healthy and good and normal.
13. One day you'll find that your caresses become more insistent and you're breathing heavier and you feel a desperate urge to carry on what you're doing. It's common to feel a bit frightened at the intensity of what's happening, if you've never felt it before. But go with the feelings. You deserve to have them. If rubbing your clitoris alone doesn't quite get you to your climax, try putting one or two fingers of your other hand into your vagina. Or use a vibrator in your vagina or on your clitoris. Your instinct should take over and tell you what to do.
Hopefully, these powerful feelings will lead to your first orgasm. And once you've had one – you'll find you can have others – maybe even on the same day!
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